Mature Beyond Her Years

I don't really know where to start with this story... Tonight I was shocked and astounded with my daughter.

Every year we let her pick a costume and then buy it under the knowledge that she has to work for her costume. She has a few chores she has to complete daily like feeding the dogs in the morning and afternoon, getting dressed, cleaning her room, picking up after herself, and always ready to be a big helper. She did her chores and had earned her costume this year without a problem.

I have mentioned on quite a few occasions how Audra is Obsessed with everything super hero. So I guess it wasn't much of a surprise that she picked out being Captain America for Halloween this year. I showed her all the princess costumes and all the animals, but she stuck with her "roots" and wanted to be Captain America.

One thing she wanted to complete her Captain America costume was the Shield. She had talked about it for weeks. Every time we went to Wal-mart she would go look at it and try it on to do her action pack, super hero moves. Ryan and I decided that if she wanted it that she could use her money to pay for it.

 We told her how much it was and that we would take her to get if she wanted to buy it with her own money or she could wait and see if she gets it for Christmas. She decided she didn't want to spend the 9 dollars on the shield and wait until Christmas. I had been wanting to get it for her. I had been thinking about it for a long time so today when I found her gift card left over from her birthday and found out it had 4.63 left I was so excited. Ryan and I told her it would only be 5 dollars now and she decided she could spend that much. She happily opened her piggy bank and we found a five dollar bill.

So excited! 

Audra and I took a picture and quickly got into the truck. Audra sang her own song about trick or treating, pumpkins, and s'mores on the way. I was so excited to see her happy about getting her shield. We walked into Target and skipped to the toy aisle only to find they were out. I told her not to worry though we would go to Wal-mart. We go to Wal-mart... NONE.... I looked down all the aisles. I asked someone to scan and see if there were any in the back. They looked and said no.

I looked at Audra and told her they were out and she looked up at me with those eyes of understanding and said one of the most profound things, "Mom, it's ok. Maybe we can get it another time. All the other kids that wanted to be Captain America needed them." She took my hand without a fit and we walked towards the door. My heart was literally breaking. I didn't know what to say other than tell her I was very proud of her.

I got in the car and called my dad who I had talked to a little earlier and knew we were going to get the shield. I barely could get the words out that they were all out. Audra wanted to talk to him. So I gladly handed the phone to her and I listened as the tears starting to stream down my face. She told my dad and mom both how God had told us not to worry and that she would have been happy to have had the shield, but that she was happy without one too.

I know as a kid I would not have reacted that way. Sometimes even now I don't react that way. I am proud to have her as a daughter and I am proud of how mature she was in the situation. It's funny how sometimes we can learn thankfulness and contentment from a child. I learned that tonight.

Talking About Forever

Today Audra and I were on our weekly trip to the library. When Audra started one of her normal conversations.

A boy no older than 7 was riding his skateboard in the middle of the street of our neighborhood and didn't mind that I was having to wait for him to move out of the road.

Audra- Oh, NO! That boy needs to get out of the road before he gets hit by a car!

Me- You are right. It isn't good to be in the middle of the road.

Audra- He needs to learn safety rules.

There was quiet for a little while. I started thinking about other things I needed to get done.

Audra- That little boy shouldn't be outside he might get taken.

Me- What little boy?

Audra- The little boy that was in the street. He should not have gone outside without his parents.

Me- (enforcing the rules we have set for her) It is important you only go outside with an adult.

Audra- Yeah, our else someone could take you and you will loose your family. I don't want to loose my family, Mom.

Me- Don't worry baby, you are good at following the rules and we won't let anyone take you.

Audra- I am going to stay with my parents forever!

Me- I am glad you want to stay with us forever, Audra. We will keep you forever!!!

I looked in the rearview mirror and we smiled at each other. She turned and looked out the window and began counting to 100 and I began to think again.

I love being so important her life right now. Audra is the most excited when she is with Ryan and I. It makes us feel so special, but I know that one day someone WILL take her away. Someday she is going to grow up and there will be some prince who will come into her life and sweep her off her feet. It is a natural part of life. It may be hard to handle, but I am praying right now that God is forming and making a guy perfect for her. That she will wait for the right guy and will wait on God's timing. At least I think that will make it easier when the time comes to let her go.

Until then, I am going to enjoy my black and white/rule follower/homebody/loves her mommy and daddy/wants to never leave girl!

Joys of Pregnancy

Women are amazing creations. God must have put a stubborn or maybe just forgetful place in the brain for us when it comes to babies. I mean we grow up hearing the horrors of labor, delivery, and after birth affects. YET, there are tons and tons of babies being born every day.

Here are some of the "joys" I have been experiencing about this pregnancy.

* Cannot sit normal more than three minutes, then it is time to change position. Making me look more like I have ants crawling in my pants, then normal.

* Pregnancy glow or what I mean to say... bags under the eyes (whoever is blessed with this so called "glow"... Can I say LUCKY!

* As soon as my bladder is completely relieved and empty, my stomach has the WORST feeling it has to be filled again to compensate. Oh yeah, by filled, I mean two bites, because that is all it can handle.

*When I get comfortable enough to fall asleep and am about to FINALLY get some rest, my bladder starts calling to me and the cycle above starts to repeat.

* If I try to do anything to fast I either hurt, my muscle gets pulled, or worse... muscle CRAMP.

* Oh yeah, Moodiness... enough said!


I could probably go on and on, but to be honest I have one of the least complicated pregnancies compared to the majority. I am not saying all of this to complain, but rather share that I literally went through all of this a little over four years ago, but I STILL could not wait to go through it again.

Why is that? Simply because the minute you see the little miracle you bring into the world, everything you went through, every sleepless night, every single cramp, every single nauseous feeling you have had is all of the sudden totally worth it and not a bit regretted.

 I am so excited to see our little guy in less than three months. I would do this over again if I had to, because I already love him. Every time I start to feel sick or rethink why I wanted this I feel him kick or move and know that I have the biggest blessing growing inside of me. That is when I feel so blessed that God has given me the opportunity to be a woman... In some ways I feel sorry for men... They will never be able to feel the most amazing, beautiful thing on earth inside them... LIFE! That is why women are amazing creations!

Complete pain....

What pain? Never happened!

Thoughts About Decluttering My Life

I was looking through some of our old pictures and stumbled upon pictures of Audra playing in the rain and all the joy it brought her. She played for a couple hours outside that day. It made me think of how nice it was as a child playing without worry of what you have to do or your responsibilities.

Obligations, Priorities, Responsibilities are words that have made me want to close a door and curl up in the fetal position lately. I am coming to terms that I may have issues with taking on too much without thinking about it until I am so overwhelmed I feel like I am barely able to keep my head above water. I know there are certain things you can't get out of and you have to do, but I go to the extreme of saying yes to almost EVERYTHING!

As I sit here 28 weeks pregnant and feeling like my head is about to explode, I am realizing this is not a good thing. I should be enjoying my last few days with just Audra and I, but instead feel so loaded down I dread the next day. Colossians 3:17 says, "And whatsoever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father by him." How can I be doing God's name any justice if I can't complete the things I am doing WELL! I am going to have to take a step back and really weigh each of activities/jobs for a while and start de-cluttering my life. I want to do everything WELL so that God may be glorified. I can't accomplish this stressed or overloaded. So I am writing this out as a reminder to me to follow through and a promise to God to really honor Him in all I do. Maybe I need to just find some of my child wonderment again.