A Do Over (God's Mercies are New)

Today is one of those days I want to crawl back in bed for a do-over!!! I woke up in one of those moods where you are so mad and upset but have NO idea why. 

Maybe it's the lack of sleep built up over the past few months. Maybe it's the not getting more than 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep since Adiah was born. Maybe it's having to hold down the fort at the house most times by myself these days with Ryan's surgery rotation. 

Whatever the reason it is uncalled for... I am ashamed. 

I found myself quick to lash out and easily irritated. Being the Mom means that my babies are consistently looking to me as an example. "Practice what you preach" played in my head over and over again as I was sending Audra into time out for an attitude change. I immediately was overwhelmed with guilt for my attitude today. I needed a time out... a time out with God. 

He was waiting patiently for me to fall down and let go of everything I/ Me/ Myself have been trying to do. He has quietly been asking me to lean on Him, trust in Him. It was as if almost he told me audibly... "Of course you can't be doing everything by yourself without frustration and exhaustion. I have not made you to do it by yourself. Trust in the Lord with all your heart." 

I went to my bedroom and started to read Psalms. It was almost an immediate burden lifting off my shoulders. I felt God's love pour around me and hold me. I was so sad that I had been trying to do so much by myself. How many blessings have I missed these few weeks trying to support two kids and my hubby on my own strength? God has been wanting me to get my strength from Him. 

Audra had crept in my room and wanted to tell me sorry for her attitude. I embraced her and told her I loved her and that I forgive her. It was the perfect picture of what God had just done to me. He had forgiven me. I don't get a "do over" for the day but I do get a fresh clean slate. God is so merciful and I am so glad. 

Thank you God for your love and forgiveness! Give me grace like yours towards my husband and Kids. Help me to lean on You. Let them see You through me and be the example you want me to be. I love you.

Amen.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

His mercies never cease.

Lamentations 3:22 NLT

Adiah's Five Monthday!!!

Adiah is five months old!!!

He is getting so big, not only do I mean in age, but literally! He is in the 95% pretty much across the board. He is wearing 9-12 month clothing! How did that happen?

It is so funny to me that Audra Leigh was a bean pole and Adiah is a chunker munker. 

We had to buy a new car seat for him.

He outgrew his baby carrier. Adiah and Audra seem to like it a lot more, because they can see each other perfectly. It makes for a great ride when Audra can keep him entertained!

Adiah is laughing more and more. I love his little voice! The hardest I have ever heard him laugh Proves he is all BOY! Audra looked at him and said, "Bubbie, do you make poopycakes?" Adiah laughed hysterically, which of course made Audra say it more. He laughed and laughed.  It was adorable, but of course it would be something about a bodily function that would make him laugh uncontrollably! 

His first's this month:

He can sit up for long periods of time

Rolled from back to front

Consecutive rolls

Slept from 6:30 PM- 5:00 AM (although it isn't consistent, but the majority of times he does)

Move around his blanket during belly time to get to the toy he wants

Happy Five Months, Bubbie! 

Audra's Wonderland- Her First Ballet Recital!

Yesterday Audra Leigh had her first ballet/tap recital. We were all very excited! My parents and Sister came into town to see her perform. We got up early, had powdered doughnuts, and orange juice. Had the unveiling of her in her costume, make up, and bun! We gave a lot of applause and Fancy word compliments like Posh, Gorgeous, Beautiful... of course she ate that right up and posed for us!

While Ryan and my dad were out getting surprise flowers for after the recital for Audra, little did we know that Audra had cooked up her own surprise for us! 

We had dropped Audra off at the waiting room and went to find the perfect seat. Once we got settled, I naturally started to look at the program to show my Mom and Sis where Audra was in the program. I found their song and looked at the names listed. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the name and found....

Yep... Audra Hamilton.... I assure you that is NOT our last name. 

I pointed it out to my sister... and was like... NO WAY. I immediately burst out laughing. I went on to look at every list and sure enough each one was graced with Ms. Audra Hamilton. 

To give a little history about this name will make you understand why this is so hilarious. Since two years old Audra has played a game with us about joking her last name is Hamilton. Where she came up with that as her last name, I have no clue. She would just say her name was Audra Hamilton and laugh. 

We always laughed and played along, but she knew her last name. 

A year ago, one Sunday, we were visiting my parents church and when I went to pick her up and was greeted with her roster saying Audra Hamilton. We laughed and talked to her about the importance of her REAL last name. We hadn't heard the famous last name since, until of course arriving at her recital.

However or whenever she was asked and she stated her name to be Hamilton, I haven't the faintest inkling, but we will always have the memory in paper form and funny stories of her alter ego name.

Audra Hamilton danced famously and I was very proud of her! I am excited for her next recital and maybe we will have her real last name printed out next year. I am just so thankful for my wonderfully unique little girl. She is her very own person and I wouldn't change that for the world!

So about the cover on Time...

So about the cover on Time magazine...

First off, being a mom is one of the hardest jobs and there are NO easy decisions when it comes to raising one's children. I believe there obvious No-No's like don't throw your kid out a window or lock them in a closet or not feed them etc. etc. but decisions about breastfeeding/ babywearing/ co-sleeping are totally a personal decision. It should stay a personal decision.

 I breast feed my babies for a little over a year, but does that mean I am looking down or judge a Mom who doesn't? No!! Just like I wouldn't want them to judge me because I am using my breast to feed my baby. I choose to do it because it is the best for MY family. 

There are good Mom's who use extreme attachment parenting. 

There are good Mom's who bottle feed, have baby's stay in their crib from day one, and never wear their baby.

There are good Mom's who are some where in between.

 Should we really be fighting about "Are You Mom Enough?" because you don't feed your child your breast milk until they want to stop? Not in my opinion. If children are in a loving home and environment, I think that is what really matters.  

There are WAY more important issues and problems with society then making people feel bad about the way they choose to feed their baby. Why is taking a picture of a three year old breast feeding and posting it on a magazine cover beneficial to anyone?  

Why don't we all concentrate on raising our kids the best we can and not throw our opinions (which is exactly what each parenting technique is) out in people's faces as "the way" of only raising a child properly. Instead let's try to raise kids on values, love, and security. That is what really matters. 

These things will last forever- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13