A Birthday Letter to My Baby Girl

Dear Sweet Audra Leigh,

It seems just a few months ago, I was looking at a positive pregnancy test. I was scared, excited, nervous, an emotional roller coaster thinking of how life was about to change.

The first time I saw you on the sonogram screen... I was overwhelmed with happiness and I cried. I loved you instantly more than I can explain. I was full of joy about this little gift beginning to grow inside me. I remember you moving inside me. You were so active and strong. I couldn't wait to meet you, hold you, cuddle you.

I read to you and sang every night while you were inside me. I cherished those times when it was just you and I. Then the day came you entered into the world. The love I had for you grew a million times. I sang to you when they laid you on my chest and I cried... again. I kissed you and I thanked God that you were perfect. You were beautiful. You were mine.

Today as it marks your fifth birthday I am excited for you, but at the same time sad at how quickly these years have flown. I don't want to forget any moment of your childhood. I am constantly taking what you like to call "click" moments. I take the mental pictures and burn them to my heart.

You take your first step. "click"

You say your first word. "click"

You look at me and smile saying I'm the best mommy you ever had just because. "click"

You turn to me and say how much you love me. "click"

You tell me you will always have dates with me and always live with me. "click"

You play with your brother and make him happy when he was crying. "click"

You dance around care free and happily to Taylor Swift. "click"

You tell me I'm the best mother in the world. "click"

You sleep soundly in your bed, surrounded by a hundred books and stuffed animals. "click"

I have clicked a thousand moments, and hold them close. I love the glimpse of innocent perspective that you have of life. The pureness of your heart. As you grow you and I may not always see eye to eye on everything. In fact sometimes you will think I am overprotective, but that is OK and I don't mind, because I want you to enjoy your childhood, enjoy the innocence, enjoy the sheltered view of the world. The pressures and worries of this life will be on your shoulders before you want them to be. I know we won't be able to always protect you. One day you will have to spread your wings and make your own decisions,  which is a part of growing up and discovering who you are as an individual, but for now we will.

You are my pride and joy. You are my baby girl, my monkey moo, my sunshine. I treasure these past years and the little sweet girl you have become. I know that the future holds great things for you. God has made you for a special purpose. Seek it wholeheartedly. You are going to take this world by fire.

Always keep your passion and tender heart.
Always be confident in who you are.
Always keep your love for learning and knowledge.

Always share your humor.

Always stand firm in your beliefs.

And as you say, "No matter what, Always trust God."

Happy Birthday! I love you, baby! You light up my life. You are one of the biggest blessings in my life and couldn't be more proud of you. 

Always and Forever,

Mommy

Picture taken by J. Noel Photography

Adiah's 8th Monthday!

Since we are on the road right now and we can't carry around the glider.
 I thought it fitting his 8 month picture to be in a suit case.
It's his favorite thing to play in right now any way!

Mr. Adiah, Mr. Adiah, How did you get so big?

You are supposed to be my little baby, but now you're 8 Months old!

You have done so many exciting new things this month. 

A light went on and you are exploring, learning, and doing something different almost every day.

I love you so much. Continue to grow and share your sweet smile big boy! 

First's this month:

Went on your first family vacation to the beach

Had first family pictures

Said "mama" and what sounded like "I love mama" (I'm taking it as he knew what he was saying it)

Started getting up on all fours and rocking

Went from rocking to what we call the worm crawl or land butterfly stroke

Can go from laying down to sitting no problem

Met his great grandmother and Great mimi and great papaw and a lot of other relatives

Visited another state (Arkansas and Missouri)
Rode to the top of Pinnacle Mountain on Daddy's back

Happy 8th Monthday Adiah!!!!!

Olympic Impact

I know this a week late, but Olympics are a very, very big deal to Ryan and I!

We don't watch very much TV in our house, but from the day of opening ceremonies to the closing the TV was on A LOT.... probably too much. We watched more TV in the two weeks then we had watched in the past year. Not Joking! But the thing is it only comes every four years and

 I did NOT want to miss one second.

This year was especially exciting because we got to share it with Audra. 

It was so awesome to watch the olympic magic come alive in her. 

She rooted for U.S.A. She fell in love with Missy Franklin and Gabby. 

She wants to go to the Olympics for gymnastics, swimming, and high dive. 

She has begun practicing her "floor routines" and "swimming strokes".

She is planning on going to the Olympics and I love seeing the determination and drive in her eyes.
It brought me back to what I wanted to do as a kid.
I can still remember watching Olympics when I was little. Watching the gymnastics and doing exactly what Audra was doing this year. If they were on past my bedtime sneaking out to the hall so I could watch crouched down. I had the feeling I could do anything when I was young.

I watched as new records were broken. Seeing the bodies of human beings meet crazy expectations and limits. The triumphant smiles and the tears from years of sacrifice finally paying off in one of the coveted medals. As I celebrated with them from my couch, I couldn't help but inspect myself.
It honestly made me feel inferior.

What have I done with my life?
How many goals have I actually completed that I set for myself?
Am I really doing something of worth?

I actually was somewhat depressed, but then as I was lost in the "what am I doing with my life questions" I was somewhat loudly interrupted by another "Watch this cartwheel, Mom" and "Was that a 10?" and I was reminded of what I am doing.

I may never get a trophy, or a medal, or a crowd cheering me on, but I am sacrificing the glory and self spotlight right now for something greater. I am raising two kids who are at the age of high demands and supporting a husband in Medical school. I am pouring my energy into them wholeheartedly so that later on I can say I have no regrets. That I can say I am using my time for them.
I may not be physically training for a medal, but I am training my children in the way of the Lord.
I may not get my name in lights, but I hope to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant".

Who knows, one day I may be able to use my time for something like Olympic training or meet my goal of a full marathon, but right now I am running my own type of marathon with my family.
A goal I WILL meet!

Audra's Wonderland: First week of 1st grade

My little girl is getting so big! Last year I started to pursue homeschooling Audra. I planned on just doing preschool, but quickly she took off with a hunger to learn anything and everything. 

Before I knew it we were done with Kindergarten. 

She is turning 5 in a week and just makes the cut off date to start Kinder, so I was hesitant to move forward to first grade. 

She is ready and wants to move on, and if there is anything I know for sure, it is not to let Audra get bored. 

That is when she can get into trouble and mischief fast!

I am really excited about this year. We have a lot of fun ahead of us. 

This first week, was a lot of review and fun. Audra was so excited to work in her new books.

I am looking forward to all the fun things planned.

 It helps that I have the best student in the world, well in my world. :)

A Place of Waiting

I have been convicted a lot lately about waiting. 

We have all heard or even said this little phrase that has been weighing on my mind. 

The little phrase of I can't wait until I grow up, I can't wait until I finish school, I can't wait until I get married, I can't wait for this to be over, I can't wait for ... you fill in the blank. 

Why do we wish to reach a point in life before we are there? 

Life is a journey with ups and downs, but that journey is God's tool to teach us lessons.

 Sometimes I feel like it is so easy to get focused on what is coming next that we miss the exciting experiences along the way.  The important experiences.

These past three years in medical school have seriously taught me a lot.
Sometimes honestly I have wished for this chapter in life to be closed.
Get on track for some type of normalcy.
Start making money.
 Have some type of known schedule.
Not having to spend countless days and nights manning down the fort by myself.
Ryan not  having bear the weight of constantly having to pass the next test,
impressing such and such doctor,
writing the perfect letter.
Majority of the time though, I have been happy and content where we are in life.
In fact, a lot of the time I feel like time is going WAY to fast.

This journey so far has taught me patience.
I have learned to be a better wife, mother, and friend, or at least I would like to think I have.
I have found joy and happiness in the little things in life.
I can honestly say I am blessed beyond measure.
Going through this has taught me to really appreciate the smallest things,
and even though it has been a challenging three years; it has been some of the best of my life.

I have watched my four year old grow and mature.
I gave birth to my son.
They both are my pure pride and joy.
I have watched my husband work hard and somehow balance being the best dad and husband.
I have watched the four of us grow into what I can call my "perfect" family.

So today as it marked the first day of Ryan's last year of medical school I am excited about the future, but I have enjoyed this place of waiting and journey.
I wouldn't wish these past three years to have gone any faster (Ryan probably has a different story).

This place of waiting is almost at a close. One more year, a fun year, full of exciting adventures and the end result Ryan will be a doctor and we will be on to a new place for his career.


I will wait though and continue to take in every day, hour, and second. I don't want to wish it away because this journey is what makes me, me. I don't want to miss any of it dwelling on the future when it will come fast enough. I want to experience the good and the bad whole heartedly.
So I am glad to wait.

Ryan's first day of his last year!