A Do Over (God's Mercies are New)

Today is one of those days I want to crawl back in bed for a do-over!!! I woke up in one of those moods where you are so mad and upset but have NO idea why. 

Maybe it's the lack of sleep built up over the past few months. Maybe it's the not getting more than 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep since Adiah was born. Maybe it's having to hold down the fort at the house most times by myself these days with Ryan's surgery rotation. 

Whatever the reason it is uncalled for... I am ashamed. 

I found myself quick to lash out and easily irritated. Being the Mom means that my babies are consistently looking to me as an example. "Practice what you preach" played in my head over and over again as I was sending Audra into time out for an attitude change. I immediately was overwhelmed with guilt for my attitude today. I needed a time out... a time out with God. 

He was waiting patiently for me to fall down and let go of everything I/ Me/ Myself have been trying to do. He has quietly been asking me to lean on Him, trust in Him. It was as if almost he told me audibly... "Of course you can't be doing everything by yourself without frustration and exhaustion. I have not made you to do it by yourself. Trust in the Lord with all your heart." 

I went to my bedroom and started to read Psalms. It was almost an immediate burden lifting off my shoulders. I felt God's love pour around me and hold me. I was so sad that I had been trying to do so much by myself. How many blessings have I missed these few weeks trying to support two kids and my hubby on my own strength? God has been wanting me to get my strength from Him. 

Audra had crept in my room and wanted to tell me sorry for her attitude. I embraced her and told her I loved her and that I forgive her. It was the perfect picture of what God had just done to me. He had forgiven me. I don't get a "do over" for the day but I do get a fresh clean slate. God is so merciful and I am so glad. 

Thank you God for your love and forgiveness! Give me grace like yours towards my husband and Kids. Help me to lean on You. Let them see You through me and be the example you want me to be. I love you.

Amen.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

His mercies never cease.

Lamentations 3:22 NLT